More Cake For Me

I’m sitting here trying to think of the right words to explain what this past Tuesday—Hounded publication day—felt like. And I’m struggling. Probably because publication day brought so many different and surprising feelings to the surface, that it’s hard to distill it into a single, snappy sound bite. Happy? A no-brainer. Of course I was happy. Excited? Naturally. Nervous? I’ll cop to it: more than a little. But, I also felt regret over the fact that my parents weren’t here to share in my good fortune. I felt a sense of loss that the words I nurtured and sweated over for almost a year are no longer mine to tailor and tweak. But, I also felt hopeful. Hopeful that people … [Read more...]

Hard(cover) Proof

I didn’t believe when someone said, “You can do this!” I didn’t believe when I wrote the last sentence. I didn’t believe when an agent asked me if I had a proposal. I didn’t believe when that agent agreed to be my agent. I didn’t believe when my agent said she made a deal. I didn’t believe when I signed the contract. I didn’t believe when I met my editor. I didn’t believe when we decided on a title. I didn’t believe when I received my first advance payment. I didn’t believe when we shot the book cover. I didn’t believe when I saw an ARC of my book I didn’t believe when I saw my book for pre-sale on Amazon. I didn’t believe when I made my last tweak. This … [Read more...]

Table for One

When I was around eight or nine there was nothing in the world I wanted more than a cherry red bicycle with a golden banana seat and a sissy bar. When I was entering the treacherous, unchartered waters of puberty it was an eight-track player. And upon joyously exiting the thrill ride that was puberty it was a pea green Dodge Dart. Actually, it was a silver Trans Am with T-tops but my mom’s purse strings said Dodge Dart. The point I’m trying to make, besides proving that I am as old as dust, is that there were times in my life when I could easily identify things that I desperately desired. And yet today it’s always a challenge for me to think of something to buy for … [Read more...]

A Moment’s Paws

The other day my agent jokingly asked me if the dogs had any inkling that they’re going to be famous. I told her that other than a recent request that we replace the tap water in their bowl with Voss, and the occasional run-in with a rogue Puperazzi, life with our three soon-to-be-public pooches has remained more or less unchanged. Which doesn’t really surprise me. The truth is that my dogs and, in fact all dogs—regardless of breed, size or intelligence—remain more or less oblivious as to the bigger picture. Which is one of the many reasons why I love my dogs. Sure, they get excited for a well-earned treat or an impending walk or when I re-enter the house after going … [Read more...]

25mg of Molly

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I have a tendency to be a bit, shall we say, negative. To those of you that know me you should probably stop nodding your head so vigorously lest you slip a cervical disk, or something. Yes, I’m reliably moody and consistently cranky. I’ve even heard the word curmudgeon bandied about, as of late. I’m sure it won’t be long before I start yelling at those damn kids in my neighborhood to stay the hell off my lawn! My wife will gladly attest to the fact that, for the first couple years of our marriage she didn’t even know I had teeth. Silver linings are not in my color spectrum, my glass is perpetually half empty and, as much as I enjoy the entire Monty Python canon, I … [Read more...]